Judge Not

Judge not lest ye be judged….

God uses the weak and foolish things of the world to confound the wise…

These are the phrases that popped into my head while I was driving to work one day last week. They are paraphrases of Matthew 7:1  and 1 Corinthians 1:27. Now, this topic couldn’t have been further from my mind at that moment. I was enjoying the blue skies and warm sun on my face and thinking about the characters that seemed to just introduce themselves to me in the past couple of weeks.

Who was I judging?

My first thought was for fellow writers. Especially those who have been published in the Christian Fiction genre. I had to cringe as I thought of some of the judgements I have passed on them. Not all, but really, very few have escaped my scathing comments. There have been others, too, but these particular authors have probably had the most scorn heaped upon them.

But really, who was I judging? I realized that in my harsh judgement of fellow writers (who were actually writing and not avoiding the blank page), I was really being my own harsh judge. I often discount the messages because the vehicles I would use to deliver them are not perfect. Though I know it is completely unrealistic, I do tend to expect brain to page perfection first time around.

I am moving past this. Not quickly. I seem to be fighting this “creative recovery” as much as I am embracing it.   Stay tuned…

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Ten Reasons

Top Ten Reasons I Never Considered Writing a Blog:

1. Everyone is doing it.
2. I have a journal.
3. I am a private person.
4. I’m not that interesting.
5. It’s not my thing.
6. I’m not any good.
7. People might read it.
8. Then they would see that I really can’t write.
9. I don’t have time.
10. I might enjoy it.

Originally, I intended this space to be for sharing creative things that I intend to write at some time in the future. I never intended this to be somewhere that I share things that I might write in a journal, or discuss with friends in various situations (which rarely happens because I have a journal for this type of thing and various other excuses for not joining in my own life).  But this is exactly what is happening in this space today. And before anyone starts, I am NOT putting myself down or anything close to that. I am simply trying to figure things out, and sometimes this is not a pretty process.

For the past year I have flirted with the idea of writing again.  Just flirting. Mostly wishful thinking. Until a couple weeks ago. It became imperative. So, I made myself start a blog. I bought notebooks for purposes other than journaling or taking notes in church. I got online. Read lots of blogs. Talked myself out of posting. Looked at my blank notebooks. Bought new pens. Read more blogs. Read books. You get the picture. I was doing everything except writing.

So I bought another book. And through some of the exercises I am beginning to realize what the big deal has been for me. My biggest fear has been that people would see who I really am, and…(insert really horrible, life ending things here). Irrational, I know, but real for me.

So I am testing the water.